So, it’s official. Michael Graham has written his last City Paper column, and to celebrate the end of his obnoxious conservative missives, I’ll be heading to Theatre 99 tonight to watch a farewell stand-up show.
I got to hang out with Michael last night at our ten-year anniversary party and he gave us a little warm-up routine. He spent some time harassing our proofreader and resident John Edwards campaigner (she was wearing his button last night) Marilyn Armstrong for her choice in candidates. At least he was funny about it. Marilyn was thinking about bringing her Drinking Liberally buddies with her tonight so they can heckle with impunity.
Graham promises a great time for conservatives and liberals alike. He’ll be taking calls from Andre Bauer, Gov. Sanford, and Mayor Riley. I wonder if he’s got John Graham’s number.
Speaking of former state Sen. John Graham Altman III, he faxed over a congratulatory letter this morning. He was honored to be in our “most wanted” lineup and recognized our years of hard work, covering his ‘elected public service’ (his words). Of course, he got in a couple of shots. The funniest being our journalistic motto of: “this story/column is too good to fact-check.” Read the note in its entirety on Greg’s Press Time blog.
One Comment
Finally!!! I can now flip through the City Paper without having to worry about that which previously plagued me while HE was there…
I will give you a small list of my conditions, incited by none other than Michael Graham-
1. Instant fits of hysteria
2. Chronic diarrhea
3. Heart palpitations (common in many a liberal, i’m told)
4. Immediate need for a beverage of the alcoholic persuasion.
5. Writhing about in my office while speaking in what I’ve been told are “tongues”
6. Crossing of the eyes, steaming out of the ears, and pissing into the wind. (common in many a conservitive, i’m told)
Again, this is just a small list; not nearly cumulative of the issues and undiagnosed ailments which M. Graham has afflicted me with.
Thank you City Paper, thank you. The amount that I’ll save on therapy, you can be sure, will be “donated” to one of the many fine establishments that advertises in this great paper of yours.
Lastly- you’ve saved my ass. As now I can and will, go back to using regular old two-ply….instead of the column that once belonged to the aforementioned.